Opinions. Everyone has them, and we generally enjoy giving our opinions and hearing other’s views on many topics… that is, until you become a bride. Being a bride means you automatically become a sounding board for EVERYONE else’s opinions whether you like it or not, and it can get very overwhelming. Every person within a 50 foot range of you who knows you’re planning a wedding will inevitably share their thoughts on your choice of food, flowers, and even your dress (gasp!). It doesn’t take much before you’re ready to pull your hair out!
It’s impossible to even begin to try and please everyone when it comes to your wedding, but time and time again I see brides who try to do just that. One of the hardest parts about working with brides (in my opinion) is when she isn’t sure of what SHE wants and is too busy trying to make everyone else’s opinions work. How in the world does anyone end up having the wedding THEY want, without coming off like a complete Bridezilla?
A great way to avoid using the “w” word in polite conversation is to simply change the subject. Most people will either get the hint, and you get to also avoid being that annoying person who never shuts up about their wedding plans.
Before you even think discussing the intimate details of your upcoming wedding, it’s important to get your priorities straight. Be sure you know which points you’re willing to compromise on to keep the peace, and which ones are absolutely non-negotiable. That way, you have a firm foundation when these questions inevitably come up.
By limiting the number of people who know the intimate details of your wedding, you also limit the number of opinions you get on said details. And though you’ll certainly get questions about what your plans are, it’s perfectly fine to be vague with your answers.
When you end up in that situation where someone is giving you their opinion whether you want it or not, sometimes the best solution is just to nod and say “Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.” Sometimes, that’s much easier than trying to dissuade them or defend your choices.
Have a best friend or overbearing MIL that just won’t stop giving their opinions? Give them a project! If your Maid of Honor has strong opinions about the bridesmaid dresses, let her handle them! Give clear guidelines (such as color, length, and material) and let her coordinate with your other bridesmaids. Not only will delegating some details alleviate some of your stress, it also keeps opinionated loved ones busy so they don’t have time to comment on other aspects of your wedding day!
If mom and dad are cracking open their checkbooks to help pay for the wedding, they have a right to have a say in how that money is spent. Everyone else? Not so much. So when your girlfriends want to give their opinion on the colors you’ve chosen, just remind them that while you appreciate their input, you’re the one paying so you get to make the final decision.
Perhaps the hardest thing to remember is the most important. At the end of the day, it’s you and your fiancé’s big day and your opinion is the one that matters most. Sometimes it can be really difficult to remind yourself of that through all of the chaos that is planning a wedding. While it might be hard to say no to someone you love, the best decision is always one that you can feel is true to your vision of your wedding day.
Sometimes, the best thing to do when everything gets too overwhelming is just to step back and re-evaluate before you move forward with any more planning. When I have a bride who’s just completely dazed by her wedding planning, that is always my go-to suggestion. Stop for a minute, take a deep breath, and relax. Then, once you’ve cleared your head, you can focus on what’s most important: that it’s YOUR wedding day, and that’s whose opinion matters most.
Chelsea is a wedding-obsessed graphic designer who is passionate about creating beautiful, unique stationery for each and every bride she works with. When she’s not browsing photos on wedding websites, she can usually be found curled up with her cat and a good book.
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